OOC/IC ● VOICEMAIL

[straying]

Well, looks like you've reached the voicemail of Saya Minatsuki, which means I'm kinda busy. Sorry about that. Leave a message and I'll get back to you ASAP!

[a bit of a laugh followed by a click!]

[ooc: You know the drill, don't you? :D Leave a message for either Saya or me (the mun) here~ Just mark it as IC or OOC to avoid any confusion~]

Comments

IC [tl;dr-- I mean. Action.]

[redcloakedthief.livejournal.com]

[When he receives the call, he spends a long moment staring at the SFC.

What is he even supposed to think of that? What...what is he doing? When did he start caring so much? He can hardly think these days--the past couple of days have really, really taken their toll on him, and his discussion with Naoya did not go unmarked either.

He's confused, a little befuddled, and he doesn't even know why.

...because in the end, the main reason for his anger is gone--Saya didn't die. She's alive.

He goes.

The window is open, hm? Well. Some physical exercise won't do him harm in that state. The night air is something he clings to as familiar as he darts across rooftops. It's not that he's in a hurry, but rather that he needs the exertion to keep his mind off of things.

Of course. Probably.

He pulls himself up and through the window not long later and...simply stands there.

What now? A plan might have been a good idea.]

IC [forever tl;dr asdflkj and action. that too.]

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[. . . It would've been nice for both of them.

But while she was so preoccupied arguing with herself, it didn't occur to her to think out her words. All she can recall is asking him to come over- perhaps it was even more like pleading with him.

So when he arrives, she tilts her head. He's actually there. ... and it takes her a moment to think about why she's so surprised. Didn't they always do this?

... oh. Of course. She thought he'd left her for good.

The first noise out of her is a laugh. A genuinely amused one at that. From her spot on the bed, she brings hand up over part of her face as she takes a moment to just... laugh.

She'd always hated how good he was at taking her by surprise. Always hated how good he was at making her happy. Always hated how he ended up catching her off-guard and defying her expectations in the best way possible.

Mmm. Wasn't this why she needed to break things off?

It's short-lived laughter, surprisingly genuine as it was. She grins at him, though it's an incredulous one. Cursed to wearing her heart on her sleeve.]

You actually came.

[redcloakedthief.livejournal.com]

[He chuckles, a little dryly, perhaps a little nervously.

She's grinning, but that laugh...

He's quiet, but his way with words comes to save him again--by making him say exactly what's on his mind, that is.]

I should have planned this out better.

[...heh.]

I suppose plots and plans are beyond me tonight.

[...]

Of course I came.

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

You make it sound like it was obvious that you would.

[A sheepish shrug and she can't fight off a smile.

It was strange, waiting for him. For once, not knowing if he would be there if she called. Once upon a time, she would've thought it was strange to have anyone to call in the first place.

At that thought, her smiles droops a bit, though there still remains a slight upward curve of her lip.

She's waiting to solidify her appraisal. She's waiting to see if she wants to believe in him again. To trust him not to ignore her, to hurt her, to leave her-

... hah.

How much of it is wishful thinking?]

[redcloakedthief.livejournal.com]

...Wasn't it?

[He...might slowly be understanding what this is about, for her. For him...it's something different.

A bitter chuckle.]

I should have just stayed, but I doubt I would have been much help against dinosaurs.

[...he bites his tongue and falls silent, but he's bitter anyway.

Why is it that he wouldn't have been able to help Saya if she'd needed the help? He can only think that he's lucky that she's competent.

But Leila...was too.]

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[His first question is promptly ignored. She doesn't like the answer, so she won't say it out loud.

It's not hard for her to piece together what he's going through either. They'd been together for a year - a year, she reminded herself, is far too long - and you can't be with someone for a year without understanding a few things about them.

Her first impulse is to cheer him up. Haa, he's making that face again. He's not telling her something. She's not sure how much she can help heal the wound, but before, she thought that it was always worth trying. Because if he could smile for her just a little bit more, then she'd never have anything to worry about.

But if she decided this wasn't okay, that she'd had enough... then those smiles would be long gone.

... but she can't just leave him like this.]

You don't need to help against dinosaurs.

[She sighs and falls back on the bed with her gaze fixed on the ceiling. She nstinctively fell more to one side- giving him room in case he wants it.]

That's what you never seem to get. I never depended on you to keep me safe, because that's not what I need you for. So stop thinking that it's your duty or your obligation to protect me- to protect everyone.

[Her brow furrows as she stares puzzledly at the ceiling.]

It only hurts everyone involved, so why...?

[redcloakedthief.livejournal.com]

[He's a little puzzled as well at this disconnect. Until he slowly realizes what's going through his head, and only then does he step away from the window and towards her, expression confused and a little pained.]

When did I ask you to depend on me?

I just--

[...he needs this. Needs it because maybe if he'd been there Leila would still be alive, and what if what if what if--

A quiet breath, not nearly long enough to be a sigh.]

You can take care of yourself.

[And then he gives her a smile. Sad. Bitter. And not fake because of that. It's too true to be fake.]

Leila could too, Saya.

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[She can't bring herself to look at him. Instead, she just listens, continuing to stare at the ceiling with a curious expression.

Of course this all came back to Leila, she wasn't stupid. That isn't any surprise to her at all.

But unlike every other issue that she knew how to deal with - issues with freedom, issues with contentment, issues with pursuing actual happiness - she knows absolutely nothing about loyalty.]

... but she didn't need you to protect her. And you didn't have to.

[The way she understands it, he's placing a responsibility on himself that he didn't have, blinded to the facts by hindsight.]

Regret and self-blame... should only go so far, Matthew.

[redcloakedthief.livejournal.com]

She did--

[He pauses, for a moment...honestly confused.]

She didn't. No. She never did.

[...why did she have to die? Why did Saya have to die? He's thinking it over now, and...he feels like he's acting so childishly. Like he's shaking a fist at the world and going "Why is everything so unfair?"

He's older than that. He knows that the world is unfair.

He hesitates.]

Sorry, I--

[...]

Pretty silly, in a world where death isn't permanent, huh?

[But those images, and Billy's voice, still haunt him.]

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[Then she actually looks over at him then, honestly perplexed.]

Death is never silly. If I wasn't upset at you about something else, I could get upset over that.

[Despite her words, she actually manages to grin at him. Reassuringly, she hopes. She doesn't... have the strength to go to him right now, but no matter how she tosses it, she doesn't want him to feel this way anymore.

It helps that it distracts her from her own problems.]

Besides, the Matthew I know doesn't worry about silly things.

[... heh. How accurate is that opinion right now, though? Still, she retains the same good humor that bubbled up when he first dropped in to see her - the one that was cautious and unrestrained all at once.]

I'm not saying don't regret things. I'm not saying not to feel bad about things you couldn't have done.

I'm saying you probably have enough to feel bad about truthfully that... you don't need to invent other things to blame yourself for on top of it all.

You're making more trouble for yourself and it's tough after you've beat it into your head that it's your fault but... well, things can be reversed the same way.

[redcloakedthief.livejournal.com]

[To a certain extent, these are all things that he needs to hear. But right now he's too worn and exhausted to absorb it all.

...

His eyes slide halfway shut as he considers this.]

Yes, well...Maybe it gives me something to work on.

[...]

I didn't mean what I said, you know. I've seen you fight. He must have been one lucky assassin.

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[A laugh and she pats the spot next to her on the bed. Rest your head, sleepy thief. It's late.]

We have time.

[But at the second part... she shakes her head. She doesn't hold grudges. No matter what she said about being upset with him- she can't be upset with him.

... It just doesn't change that what he said still hurt, though.]

People say stupid things, even smart spies.

[redcloakedthief.livejournal.com]

[He hesitates.

Is this forgiveness? He can't tell. He can't really tell if he deserves forgiveness, really.

...But he sits anyway, after that hesitation.]

That's up for debate.

[The smart spy thing, anyway.]

...Sometimes I think it's an impressive thing.

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[When did she ever let him do anything half-way? There's a tugging on his cloak. Lay down, dummy.

As she does that, she moves her head slightly, getting as close to the tilting gesture as she can while lying down.]

What is?

[redcloakedthief.livejournal.com]

[He resists that, at least for the moment, turning to look at Saya.]

...Saving people. Acting as a hero.

[And then he flops back, grumbling quietly, but without any bite.]

I'm getting soft, for sure.

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[.... pfffahahaha.

She laughs. It's different than from when he first dropped in. No, this one has the usual perky quality to it, as opposed to the sheer amusement that her last one consisted of.]

You are!

[She smiles at him, genuinely pleased.]

Don't toss out compliments, Matthew. You're sleepy so I'm gonna let this first one slide, but the next one is coming up at breakfast tomorrow and you're going to regret it. I promise.

[Another giggle. What is she even saying anymore? Wasn't she going to tell him to leave?

... but no, this is too comfortable.

And part of her mind has to ask: 'Why would I ever want him to leave?']

[redcloakedthief.livejournal.com]

[He blinks up at the ceiling and then yawns absently.]

I wonder if it's tossing out compliments if you believe it.

But I'll keep that in mind. I'd hate to regret saying something at a time like this.

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, that makes the both of us. You have horrible timing. I actually wanted to talk to you.

[Because that's clearly not what they're doing right now.

And because they're incredibly contagious, she ends up yawning too. Her eyelids droop slightly and she ends up curling up against his side, head leaning against him because it's too much effort to grab a proper pillow.

It's partially instinctive because hey look, there's a heat source in her bed-

... and partially because she really did miss him, and she doesn't know how to tell him in any other way.]

[redcloakedthief.livejournal.com]

[He looks up at the ceiling still.

...But he smiles.

And somehow...everything's okay, huh? Even as his eyes slide shut and he drifts off to sleep, just like her.]

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[... It's a curious situation.

To wake up, having slept snuggly next to the person that she had decided to cut ties with just the night before.

Then she's confused all over again.

She'd spent the longest time apart than they had in months, after all. It was strange, to be alone for so long again. Without him, and she... was less than okay, if she had to admit it. But wasn't that better? And what was he doing when they were apart? Didn't she miss him?

... of course she missed him, that's why she immediately asked him to come over when she called him. Stupid question, Saya.

Still half-asleep, submerged in drowsiness, her brows knit together as she blinks sleepily.

It's very hard to be mad when the simplistic part of her brain is saying something along the lines of]

He's here... what's the big deal?

[Of course, that's more or less an incomprehensible grumble that barely managed to escape her lips.]

[redcloakedthief.livejournal.com]

[It's just a grumble, but it wakes him nonetheless.

He stirs, blinking groggily up at the ceiling.

...


this is not his ceiling.

But he's somehow content here.]

...Saya...?

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[It occurs to her that she woke him up and... yeah okay, there's reason to apologize here, probably.

But in her current state of mind, she can only lift her head slightly and blink at him.]

No...?

[. . .

what is she even saying--

Flopping back down with another incoherent mumble. She's still lost in her thoughts, half-buried in dreams.]

Let's not talk about it.

[... This is why she tries to wake up before him. She's quite the zombie before she takes her morning shower.]

[redcloakedthief.livejournal.com]

[He's...willing to listen for that. He really, really is.

His eyes don't move from the ceiling.]

Who are you then, if not Saya?

[His tone is vaguely amused, though.]

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[That actually wasn't the question she was answering. It was more of a verbal negation of something that went through her head-

... But she isn't quite awake enough to explain that to him.]

Does it matter?

[Actual response? Still talking to herself? .... Who really knows?]

[redcloakedthief.livejournal.com]

[Thoughtful. So thoughtfully.]

Of course it does. I don't think I would want to be in this position otherwise.