video ● eleventh reflection

[straying]

[ FORWARD-DATED TO THE EVENING OF THE 23RD. (As tags will be slow for a while after.) ]

[There's a click as the feed starts and Saya hums a bit. She looks a bit tired but there's nothing about her demeanor that specifically tells that she's been haunted for the last couple days.]

The eve of Christmas Eve, guys! I figure most of us are pushing back our holiday plans considering everything that's happening, but I've found the most reliable mailman, so I hope some of you get your presents! Is everyone managing with your ghosts, though? I had one of my own but I haven't seen him lately. Then again, he always had that habit with disappearing. But if you ever need a place to crash or someone to talk to, you know where to go~

[She grins cheekily. Though suddenly her expression is confused.

What was that chill?

Will you continue to destroy others, witch?

The air is electrified. Everything is tense. Every fiber of her being on edge. Him. That voice. That insult. Only he would- Only her murderer would.

The broadcast is left forgotten as she whips around in her chair, her back to the SFC now as it lay on the table, entirely neglected. Because all at once, she's forgotten. Forgotten the curse, forgotten the ghosts, forgotten everything. Only remembering that she is facing the man who took her life.

Nevermind that this voice is only in her head.]

H-Hey.... I-I liked Train better. Why are you here? I don't want to- to....

[--to die again.

Her voice shakes, much as her frame does now. All the worldly experience that she exudes in her posture and confidence has been stripped from her now, just as she feels that the world has been yanked from underneath her.

Train Train Train. You don't even deserve to say his name, witch! He's not here to save you now. And truly, I will not fail to cut out your heart-

She leaps to her feet and knocks the SFC off the table in her haste. It clicks off. There will be no audience as she loses her mind.]

Comments

[countrybeloved.livejournal.com]

Then ignore him. You know he's not real. There is nothing he can do to you.

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

You don't who he i--

[Cutting herself off, she bites her lip then and looks away. Of course Zen doesn't. Zen wouldn't. She hadn't told him.]

I-I can't.

[Her worry is that if she ignores him, he'll become real. She knows how strong his will is and she would not put it past him- or at least, she can't help but think otherwise in her current state.]

[countrybeloved.livejournal.com]

Geez, and here I thought you of all people would be more mature than this...!

[No, he doesn't know. And to be honest, he doesn't care.]

Where are you? I'll get Obi.

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

No.

[It's practically a growl. She'll run from the apartment if she has to, Zen. The only reason that she hasn't cut off the feed yet is- ... he doesn't want to be left alone with him much as she says that she'll be okay.]

[countrybeloved.livejournal.com]

[He raises an eyebrow.]

Aren't you being unfriendly today? Fine, then. But if you lose it by the end of this week because of this...

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

I--

[She looks away and lets out a shaky breath. Still trembling, but she's trying to get back in control.]

The only way to lose is to give up. I... don't give up.

[countrybeloved.livejournal.com]

Really? Because you're looking rather shaken there, Saya.

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[She manages a tense grin.]

Down, but not out.

[countrybeloved.livejournal.com]

That's better. Though the fact you're letting something that isn't even real get to you doesn't inspire much confidence in me, you know.

[To be fair, he acknowledges that his own ghost is one that he already dealt with six years ago, but... he gets the feeling that being gentle isn't the best way to help Saya.]

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

Shut up.

[She'll have to apologize later, but... right now? She's not feeling charitable. Her eyes are downcast now and she's still considerably shaken. There's an obvious strain as she tries to completely ignore him, but it's not working.]

It's... complicated. Really complicated.

[countrybeloved.livejournal.com]

Doesn't matter. That doesn't change the fact that it's just a hallucination, Saya.

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[She knows, dammit. She knows. It's what she's told Matthew and Naoya and Dem and everyone-

But she also knows that she doesn't want to deal with it.]

Whatever it is- it needs to go away.

[countrybeloved.livejournal.com]

Just wait a few more days. You deal with Matthew on a regular basis, don't you? I know you've got patience.

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[A bit of a frown and she looks off to the side again. Then some muttering-]

Don't compare Matthew to him.

[countrybeloved.livejournal.com]

My point still stands.

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[... they're completely different. Not that anyone would know, the way she talks about Matthew. But wasn't that the point?

So instead she just sighs and shakes her head.]</small.

[countrybeloved.livejournal.com]

My point wasn't even about Matthew, you know. My point was that you're a patient person, Saya. Or are you going to argue against that?

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[She will, actually. A choked laugh.]

Shows how much you know.

No offense, Zen, but... Ha. I'm a secretive person.

[countrybeloved.livejournal.com]

Geez... am I the only person who doesn't keep secrets around here?

But like I said, if you're really letting this get to you, you're weaker than I thought.

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

[Weak? Weak? THOSE BE FIGHTING WORDS, PRINCEY-

And because really, she's kind of simple-minded and emotional, she's lashing back.]

Hey! That's not fair!

[countrybeloved.livejournal.com]

[A smirk]

Oh? What's not fair?

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

I'm not weak, you jerk. Nineteen years of proof against it!

[countrybeloved.livejournal.com]

You mean you were strong ever since the moment you were born—as a baby? That's rather... impressive.

[sweeperesque.livejournal.com]

I've got not recollection, I can claim what I want.

[countrybeloved.livejournal.com]

I think that defies the rules of logic somewhere.